


In the crystalline knowledge of you

by cassiopeiasara



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: 80s Music, Background Yatesbert, Dancing and shenanigans, F/F, Found Family, Patty POV, Slow Build, learning to be a team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-11 05:52:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7879000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassiopeiasara/pseuds/cassiopeiasara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Despite her contentment with her routine, Patty still had the feeling that there must be something more. As if, she always had her face pressed up to the glass of what her life could be and she was constantly denied entrance to the other side.</i>
</p>
<p>Patty joins the Ghostbusters and finds that it's never too late for your life to change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the crystalline knowledge of you

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: DiNovia is the best for being my beta on this piece. She was extremely encouraging (as usual) and she's just amazing. I adore the headcanon that Patty has her bachelor's/master's degree and normally I share it but you'll notice I didn't utilize it for this story. 
> 
> Disclaimer: Fic title comes from a lyric in Fleetwood Mac's "Crystal" (best version is Stevie Nicks on the Practical Magic Soundtrack). There is a reference to a line from the movie in here that I do not own as well as a lyric from "Come On Eileen". Lastly, I do not own these ladies and I seek no profit from this story.

Patty Tolan did not lead an extraordinary life. Perhaps with different life circumstances, she would have had the ability to pursue more schooling. She’d thought once that she might be a librarian or a sociologist or an anthropologist. She’d dreamed of possibly working somewhere like the Smithsonian surrounded by living, breathing history and teaching others about it.

Life in all it’s cruel ways squashed those dreams when she was confronted with the actual cost of school. Even with all her savings and odd jobs, it was barely enough and when her mother got sick her sophomore year of college, it seemed life had decided for her. The need for stability outweighed academic pursuit. Still, she’d kept all her syllabi and read as much as she could. Traditional methods of study were out but that didn’t prevent her from using whatever free time she had to continue learning.

The MTA came at just the right time and the constant lulls in activity helped to provide her the time she needed to become well versed in the history of her beloved city.

Despite her contentment with her routine, Patty still had the feeling that there must be _something_ more. It was like she was always on the precipice of doing something extraordinary or at the very least above average. As if, she always had her face pressed up to the glass of what her life could be and she was constantly denied entrance to the other side.

Now though, as she entered the latter part of her forties, it felt as if the opportunities to do more, to _be more_ , dwindled. She promised herself that she would always be prepared, always ready to take that giant leap should something _finally_ come through.

* * *

_You need Patty, Patty come with benefits._

For a moment, she was really scared they might say no.  If it happened, she wasn’t sure she would be able to be so close to something again. She felt like she was twenty again, explaining to her father all the ways she could help better if she could just stay in school a little longer and the dreaded pregnant pause that preceded his reluctant no.

Thankfully, Holtzmann echoed a need for a car and Patty almost cried in relief as the logic registered in the faces of the other two scientists. The quirky engineer might be odd and slightly terrifying but her logic appeared like a lifeline and Patty would take what she could get.

A brief tinge of regret seeped in later though when they were driving to their first bust. Patty wished she hadn't been right about Holtzmann's interest in a dead body. More than that, she wished Holtz hadn't found it necessary to explain _all_ seven uses she’d thought of in such excruciating detail.

Erin leaned toward her with a peppermint and smiled. “Helps with the nausea.”

The regret left her as she took the offered mint and admitted she’d rather be here with them than not at all.

* * *

The deli was slower than normal that day with only a few patrons in line and one family dining in. The family included an adorable little girl with braids and beads that reminded Patty of her cousin Alicia’s daughter. Patty smiled at her as they made their way to the line.

The little girl smiled in return before she turned to stare slightly at Holtzmann who was bouncing on her heels. Patty followed her eyes and knew the movement from Holtz indicated she was about to share an idea.

"I suggest we add some individual sustenance for Abby. I wouldn't mind actually eating my whole sandwich this time."

Patty nodded. "Good thinking."

"I'm capable of it from time to time." Her eyes lit up with her smile and she skipped forward in line. A woman behind them shook her head while the little girl from earlier giggled.

Patty rolled her eyes but couldn't help but soften the gesture with a smile. Despite how little she understood in Holtzmann’s ramblings, she found her company enjoyable.

She also found this unfamiliar sensation of being on a team interesting. She didn’t have much in the way of experience with teams since studying wasn’t much of a team effort and her favorite extracurricular activity had always been reading.

She contemplated basketball once but it was hard to take the suggestion she play seriously when it was made more due to her height and not an observance of any natural skill.

She stepped forward to order for herself after she heard Holtz finish. She grabbed some extra chips for all three of them, knowing the strategizing for the afternoon would leave them all with the need for snacks.

"Here, I got it," offered Holtzmann when Patty caught up to her at the end of the line.

"You don't have to," stated Patty. It was a nice gesture but Patty already felt like her teammates often made concessions for her since all this ghost stuff was still new to her. She could at least cover lunch.

Holtzmann paused to think for a minute with her chin resting on her index finger. She lifted it up after a moment and directed it at Patty. "Let me come next time you visit your Uncle’s funeral home and we'll call it even."

Patty tilted her head and raised her eyebrows. "I'm not sure if I want to agree to that."

Holtzmann winked as she handed her card to the cashier. "Come on Pats, live dangerously."

Patty shook her head as she reached for the bag with their sandwiches. "You think we don't do enough of that now?"

Holtz shrugged with a muttered "meh".

Patty scoffed and opened the door for both of them."You ain't right, Holtzy."

Holtz turned and lifted her fingers imitating small pistols at Patty. "Not wrong either."

Patty let out a laugh and hurried ahead of her causing Holtz to let out a surprised yelp and run after her. When they reached their headquarters, Patty felt something shift inside of her. As they made their way up the stairs, she realized it was purpose. It excited her and she smiled as Holtz opened the door for her.

* * *

Holtz rubbed her neck and paced near her workspace. Abby was packing quietly in the corner, loading their usual gear with her eyes concentrated on the task.

The awkward silence was beginning to weigh on Patty. They had ways to trap ghosts, to fight well, ways to study paranormal activity, but they didn’t have much about how to deal with the aftermath of a personal possessed attack. Patty fidgeted with the corner of her latest read. She kept coming up short with what to possibly say.   

"Pats," came a strained whisper.

Patty shook her head out of her musing and turned to Holtz. She looked so small and terrified walking back and forth behind her table. Patty realized Holtzmann was the only one who was most unaffected by their busts and she’d wondered often if there was anything that could shake Holtz in their dealings with the paranormal. Now she knew there obviously was.

Patty stood up and walked a little closer. "Whatcha need, baby?"

Holtzmann pointed to the first aid kit anchored to the wall near her workspace. Patty grabbed the kit and opened it. She noted that in addition to the usual supplies needed for common cuts and scrapes, it was well equipped for burn care. She figured it was made especially for Holtzmann and located a cooling cream.

She took small, calculated steps toward Holtz as she increased her pacing. Patty lifted her hands toward Holtzmann’s neck as she got close and Holtz let out a small whimper. She’d stopped pacing but wouldn’t look up at Patty.

Patty lowered her hands and ducked her head to better look Holtz in the eye. She quirked up the corner of her mouth in a slight smile and whispered, "I got you, baby."

Holtz sucked in her bottom lip and nodded as she withdrew her hand so Patty could apply the cream. She closed her eyes and released a small sigh at Patty’s ministrations.

Patty stuck to slow strokes on Holtzmann’s neck and did her best to keep sure her touch light and gentle. She tried not to wince at the sight of the angry redness on Holtzmann’s throat. It was sure to bruise in the next few days.

"All done," whispered Patty and moved to lower her hands before Holtz caught one of her wrists in a light grip.

"Thank you."

Patty brought her other hand over to squeeze Holtzmann's. "Anytime, sweetie."

Abby walked up then, loaded with gear and an unsure tilt of her head.

Holtz withdrew her hand from Patty's and grabbed one of Abby's bags. "Let's roll out.” Her voice was still a whisper but a stronger one.

Abby stood a little stunned at Holtzmann's retreating form.

Patty smiled. They would do this and if they could find Erin somewhere along the way, they would all be fine. She winked at Abby as she took a bag from her. "You heard the woman, let's get to bustin’.”

* * *

Patty sighed as they looked out at the city recognizing their efforts in lights. They’d done it and they would continue as long as there was need. It was as thrilling as it was terrifying and Patty wouldn’t have it any other way.

A loud car horn broke their moment and Erin withdrew from Patty’s hug. “It’s getting late. Abs, you want to show me the notes for the book update?”

Abby nodded from her place beside Holtzmann. “Sure, let me grab them for you.”

They moved in sync, the way years of friendship (and whatever else they may have been) often created. Patty waved her hand toward them but didn’t turn around. “Night y’all, keep the door unlocked for me?”

Patty heard an affirmative greeting from Abby. She’d figured all three of her new friends left when she heard shifting next to her.

She turned to find Holtzmann with her gaze directed toward the ground below them. Patty looked down to see what must of held her interest but found it no more remarkable than usual.

“If you drew a circle around those trash bags they’d make a perfect stanford math circle.”

Patty looked again though she knew she had absolutely no idea what Holtzmann meant. “Show me?”

Holtzmann looked up a little surprised then moved her finger in a circular motion that didn’t help Patty much but she appreciated the gesture.

Patty smiled at her as she looked up again and asked a question she’d been wondering for a while. “Why’d you become a engineer?”

Holtz shrugged. “I’m good at building, I like patterns, and I love physics.”

Patty nodded at the explanation. “I’m sure the random explosions are pretty entertainin’ too?”

Holtz’s mouth turned up into a smile. “I blew up my lab partner’s seat once.”

Patty fought the urge to shake her head. “They weren’t sittin’ in it I hope.”

“No, she had a party that night.” There was something wistful in Holtzmann’s expression. She’d already shared more than Patty was used to so she thought it best not to push for more.

Patty turned back to the city lights. She loved rooftops;  she felt there was something exceptional about the ones in New York and heights were one of the things she’d never been afraid of.

Holtzmann followed her gaze and leaned onto the edge next to her.

* * *

During the argument for space on the second floor, Erin found an office tucked in a far corner, a good distance away from where Holtzmann intended to build her lab. She offered it as a potential for Patty’s library.

Upon review, the building inspector confirmed that the wall it was behind was indeed a firewall. Although it didn’t protect her from the nuclear explosion that might one day take them all out, it felt safe enough for Patty to make her space.

She dropped by after her final day at the MTA with a small box of books she’d kept in her work locker. She smiled as she stepped in and surveyed the array of boxes that made their way there in the last few weeks. Most belonged to Patty, but Abby and Erin contributed a few that they thought might prove useful from their own collections.

Patty couldn’t wait to set everything up. Her personal books took up two small shelves at home since she was always cramped for space. Her additional boxes had come from her father’s house. She’d always dreamed of having enough space for a real library and she stood in awe of the ability to have the space to finally accommodate one.

Abby popped up from behind a desk that must have been added during Patty’s shift. She smiled when she saw Patty and gestured toward the room. “Looking pretty good, huh?”

Patty took a deep breath and tried to ignore the tears that threatened to well up in her eyes. “Perfect.” She set her small box on the desk and noticed a slightly worn leather couch in the corner. “What’s this?”

Patty made her way to the couch and eyed it over.

Abby walked over to join her and shrugged. “I thought you might need a place to relax a little while you do your research. I know how much you enjoyed that old booth.”

Patty threw an arm over Abby’s shoulder, gave her a squeeze, and dropped it. “Thanks, Abby.”  

Abby nodded and headed to the door. “Not a problem. Well, I’ll let you get to work. I gotta meet with Erin and our new editor for the update to Ghosts from Our Past.”

Patty nodded. “I’m almost done with those case studies.”

Abby turned in the doorway. “Take your time.” She stepped out and made her way down the hallway.

Patty sighed and took stock of her task. The office had been transformed in the last couple of weeks no longer cluttered with old file cabinets and lined with shelves. She’d luckily already sorted and labelled the boxes scattered about the office. The task at hand was just to decide where everything should go. She tossed her denim jacket on the couch and set to work with her first box.

* * *

It was dinner time before she realized she needed a break and headed toward the kitchen for a snack. When she walked back to her office, there was a desk chair that hadn’t previously been there.

She heard what sounded like a wrench from behind her desk and smiled. It could only indicate the presence of one person. It had been a few days since she’d last seen Holtzy. A typical occurrence since the only thing that drew Holtzmann from her lab was a bust and their last one was over a week ago.

Patty moved closer to the desk and sure enough, there was Holtzmann in her signature overalls screwing something into the bottom of the desk chair.

Patty placed a hand on the desk and leaned over. "I'm not gonna move to adjust that thing and find myself shootin’ out of it am I?"

Holtzmann quirked an eyebrow and glanced up at her. "You want to?"

Patty shook her head at Holtz’s cheery tone. "Nah, I'm good."

Holtzmann turned back to her task for a moment and shrugged. "Well if you decide to live on the edge, let me know."  She stood as Patty straightened to give her room and placed her wrench and screwdriver in her right pocket. She walked behind the chair and pulled it back a little.

She patted the top and made a sweeping gesture with her right arm. "Your throne, my queen."

Patty rolled her eyes and took her place in the chair, bouncing a little as she settled. "It's nice. Promise I'm not gonna fall out on the floor?"

Holtz crossed her heart and winked. "Promise.” She moved to the front of Patty’s desk and scanned the room as if she were surveying a landscape. She walked toward to the doorway and nodded toward the room. “Looking good in here.” She stepped out to leave, paused, and turned to smile at Patty. “I did install a few surprises for you."

Patty shot out of the chair and waited a week before she sat in it again.

* * *

Jennifer Lynch showed up in a trenchcoat and glasses a few weeks into their renovation and asked (unofficially of course) that they hold a fundraiser open house once the renovations were complete. The mayor’s office would continue their funding but they would need to make up the difference for things like liability insurance.

Kevin seemed the most excited at the prospect before he realized he had Hide and Seek practice that evening. Patty sent up a prayer of thanks for small miracles.

They decided to close off entrance to the second floor, since the paperwork of waivers related to anyone else stepping near Holtzmann’s lab would be a nightmare. (Well, Holtz thought it would be a riot playing a twisted version of survivor around her hazardous workspace. Thankfully, this idea was unanimously overruled by the others.)

Patty snuck up to her office well before the party started and slipped off her kitten heels. She wanted to review her index cards with talking points related to reduced crowd panic in the presence of crisis teams. She'd memorized much of the information but she hated to be caught unaware. She found her cards near a book she’d been reading and eased into her desk chair. Her dress was a little tight but it was a solid choice for the occasion. A strapless number with a white base sprinkled with pink and blue flowers that matched her current hair colors. She gingerly crossed her ankles and started to riffle through her cards.

She looked up a little while later when she recognized the beginning of the mingling music she’d chosen earlier that day. She stacked her cards neatly on her desk and stepped around it. She turned away from the door to slip into her heels as she leaned on the desk for support.

Patty heard a low whistle behind her and popped up, ready to give whatever creep might have found their way up here a piece of her mind when she was greeted with the sight of Holtzmann. She was propped up against the doorway in a suit much nicer than Patty would have guessed she owned. It was devoid of any the usual quirky markers of Holtz’s style. A plain black suit that would have Patty seconding guessing who was wearing it if not for Holtz’s signature yellow glasses tucked in her outward breast pocket in lieu of a traditional pocket square. Her hair was pinned up as usual but much neater and her flyaway bangs were tucked fully behind her ear.

Holtzmann nodded toward Patty. "You look a vision, Ms. Tolan. A heavenly vision." She peeled off the doorway, started toward Patty, and offered her arm. "Might I have the honor in escorting you downstairs?"

Patty swallowed past the lump in her throat and begged the flutter of butterflies in her stomach to calm themselves. "Thank you, baby.  You don't look too bad yourself."

She laced her hand through Holtzmann's--made only slightly awkward by their height difference and Holtzmann squeezing the opening of her jacket in pride at Patty’s compliment.

Abby and Erin stood at the bottom of the stairs. Abby was dressed in a nice pair of black pants and a loose blue blouse. Erin stood in a sleeveless green dress that unsurprisingly featured a tiny bowtie at the neck. She fiddled with it until Patty winked at her. “You look good, girl.”

She dropped her hands and smiled. “Thank you, Patty.”

“Yeah, yeah, we all look great. Let’s get this over with.” Abby stalked toward the small group of people gathered at the door as the other three followed.

* * *

Patty had had her fill of small talk. She could smile and schmooze with anyone (working in the family funeral home was great prep for any occasion) but these people were starting to wear on her. Smiling all the time just so people with more money than they knew what to do with might send a few dollars their way was exhausting.

She nodded toward the small group she’d been talking to. “If y’all would excuse me?” They nodded in return and she made her way to the barrier they’d set up near the stairs. She slipped up without notice thankfully and headed toward her office.

She traded her heels for flats and took a peek into Holtz’s lab. She’d noticed her leave well over an hour ago and figured she’d been working. Holtz’s suit jacket lay on Patty’s usual chair and the door leading up to the roof was open. She thought it might be intended as an invitation.

Patty walked up to the roof and spotted her with her sleeves rolled up, staring out at the city lights. Her hands were stuffed in her pockets and she rocked back and forth on her heels.

Holtz turned at the sound of Patty’s footsteps with her head slightly ducked but her eyes met Patty’s. Patty noted a hurt in them that she knew wasn’t linked to her own sudden presence. It was as if it lingered from whatever deep thought Patty had interrupted.

Holtz quirked the corner of her mouth into a sly grin. "Hey there, hot stuff, lookin for a little midnight action?"

Patty considered ignoring her joking and asking what the problem was but she knew that couldn't be the way with Holtzy. At the very least, it wouldn't be the way for honest answers so she winked in return and moved to stand next to her. "And if I was, you offerin’?"

Holtzmann waggled her eyebrows. "Any time. The big wigs gone?"

Patty placed her hands on the roof edge and nodded. "Most of ‘em, yeah. Jennifer is still here in that jacked up wig, probably to make sure we don’t say the wrong thing, but she should be out soon."

Holtzmann nodded. “Good.”

When she went silent for a few minutes, Patty glanced at her. “You good?”

Holtzmann winked. “Peachy keen, jelly bean. Why would you ask?” Despite the cheeriness of the statement, Patty didn’t miss how tired Holtzmann looked with her shoulders slumped and her brow creased.

Patty shrugged and Holtz brought her hands out of her pockets and started to fidget with her fingers. Patty wanted to ask again if she was good but she recognized that anxious look in Holtz’s eyes. Patty needed to help her calm down so she decided to tell a story.

“You know that movie _My Girl_?” Holtzmann nodded.  She continued. “That part where she’s convinced she has something wrong with her prostrate? I used to be like that. Folks would come into my uncle’s funeral home with the weirdest shit and I was always convinced I had it, too. Drove my auntie crazy. So she sat me down one day with a medical textbook.”

Patty let out a laugh at the memory and noticed Holtzmann’s shoulders relax a little. “She said ‘Baby, if you so sure you got all this stuff, look it up and prove it to me.’ I couldn’t really read most of it; I was only eight. I was determined though and every afternoon I sat with that thing, after I was done my homework, looking up everything I couldn’t understand. I got so distracted with it, I stopped claiming I was dyin’.”

“Didn’t want to be a doctor? I bet you’d be hot with a stethoscope.” Holtz winked.

Patty rolled her eyes. “Nah, but I did love looking shit up though. You know, science ain’t really my thing, never has been, but I picked up a book on nineteenth century architecture a month later and fell in love with history.”

Holtz pointed her index finger toward her. “And a historian was born?”

Patty shrugged. “Yeah, I guess that was it.”

Holtz smiled then shifted between her feet. She pointed toward the door. “I’m not big on these kind of things. Never been too good at,” she lifted her hands in air quotes, “selling my work.” Patty nodded and Holtzmann continued, “They had these adoption fairs when I was a kid. Never could get anyone interested. Guess it was all the talk about how much I loved dissection.”

“Hmm,” muttered Patty. So much about her new friend made a lot more sense now. No wonder she’d used the term _family_ with so much pride during her speech after the vortex incident.

Patty’s heart ached at the thought of lost and lonely little Holtzy. She smiled over at her. “Well, you got us now and I got a feeling that party has emptied out finally.” She gently took Holtz’s arm and started toward the door.

Holtzmann tilted her head. “Got a surprise for me, Pats?”

Thinking of the cake she’d hid in their kitchen for all of them to share, she winked. “Maybe.”

When they reached Holtzmann’s lab, Abby’s voice sounded from the bottom of the stairs. "Hey, Holtz, you better get down here or I'm doing this without you."

Holtz bolted for the fire pole and slid down before Patty had time to ask what Abby meant. As she made her way down the stairs, she heard the unmistakable opening chords of "Come On Eileen" and Erin's giggling.

Upon seeing Patty, Erin gestured for her to join her. Abby and Holtz stood on opposite sides of the room with intense gazes at each other and their shoulders moving in time to the music.

“What the hell is going on?” shouted Patty over the music.

Erin calmed from her giggling and answered, “It’s apparently their ritual after formal events.”

Patty raised her eyebrows. “A ritual? I thought Higgins didn’t even know they existed. How do they have a ritual?”

Erin held her hand up to stifle a laugh as Holtz spun Abby. “There was an annual fundraiser to kick off every school year.”

Patty started to chuckle as Holtz and Abby started to kick their feet in time, facing each other and holding hands. Abby raised one of Holtz’s hands and held it behind her head as they spun around. Their faces were really what made the watching the most enjoyable. They were both so focused as they waved their arms and shimmied.

Holtz slipped through Abby’s legs at one point and it took a moment before Patty realized Holtz sang directly to her. The music slowed as Holtzmann started to walk toward her in time to it. She reached for Patty’s hand and walked backward so she could continue gazing at her. She started to jump around and spun around Patty one time before she shouted the line _at this moment, you mean everything._

Patty laughed as Holtz tried to spin her and she ducked to accommodate the height difference. As the song started to fade, she noticed Abby and Erin spinning around as well. When the song ended, they were all clutching their sides from laughter and beamed. Patty winked at the others and gestured toward their kitchen. “Cake?”

* * *

Patty never learned more from a job than she did from being a ghostbuster. She occasionally worried that her teammates would become bored or frustrated in constantly having to explain things but Erin loved to teach, Holtzmann could never stop talking about her work once prompted, and Abby found the parallels Patty drew from personal knowledge endlessly fascinating.

Though she enjoyed learning more about the science behind what helped their work make sense, her favorite days were spent roaming through the historical archives at various libraries. She never knew what may or may not be relevant to a bust so she always tried to learn as much as she could.

Patty was usually alone during her library trips, the other women typically involved in calculations or in Holtzmann's case, stripping old parts or sorting her latest dumpster find. Today though, Erin stopped her before leaving and asked if she could come along.

Thus they were making their way through Patty’s usual route while she explained the sordid history of a nearby hotel as an old brothel.

Erin snorted, a bit uncomfortable but Patty knew by now it was more the subject matter than her company. Her friendship with Erin continued to be an unexpected but pleasant surprise. They had the same taste in romance novels (on the rare occasion Patty read fiction) and a deep shared love for Joni Mitchell.

"Do you think the new owners know about all that?" Erin gestured toward the hotel in question.

Patty nodded. "Oh yeah, it's been in the same family for like two hundred years but some cousin or other was a reformed preacher and cleaned the place up. I'd guess there was some weird rituals involvin’ exorcising demons or something."

Erin nodded. She placed her chin on her index finger, as if she were considering something. "Do you think, I mean do you ever..." She stopped and dropped the arm she's been resting on.

Patty shook her head. "No, no matter how many times you ask me, I guarantee you, Kevin has no idea how an answering machine works."

Erin laughed a little and waved her hand in dismissal. "No, that's not what I was going to ask."

They arrived at the library doors and Patty stopped to turn fully in Erin's direction. "What's up? Cause you know my rules once we get in."

Erin nodded. "Yeah, I do. It's just, I was wondering, well, if you wanted to impress someone, what would you do?"

Patty crossed her arms and leaned against a nearby wall. "What exactly do I need to impress them for? Like do I need to work with them? Do I need their advice?" She uncrossed her arms and winked. "Or am I trying to make up for years of distance and beef?"

Erin's cheeks went a little pink and Patty chuckled. "Abby keeps talkin’ bout that paranormal conference in a month that she's dyin’ to go to. I'd say go with that and find her a decent wonton soup."

Erin smiled. "That's good."

They turned at the same time and started toward the entrance before Erin stopped.

“Wait, that conference is a week long, what if we get any calls?"

Patty shrugged. "Well if you want, Holtzy and me can take care of anything and if it's above a class two, we'll give you a call."

"Sounds good."

"Happy to help. Now, let's get to work."

* * *

“Hey, you remember Professor Rothenberg?”

Patty resettled her bag on her shoulder as they crossed onto their block. “That the one with the cross cultural study on architectural designs and it’s reflection of nineteenth century New York?”

Erin blinked a few times with her mouth slightly agape.

Patty gently lifted up Erin’s chin with an index finger. “My mom used to say you catch flies like that.”

Erin shook her head. “Sorry, it’s just kind of scary sometimes how you can recall things like that.”

Patty shrugged. “It’s my thing.”

Erin gave her a warm smile. “It is. Anyway, she wondered if you might like to write for her next publication.”

Patty stopped as they reached the headquarters. “Say what now?”

“She wants to know if you’d like to write for her next publication piece. Something about local folklore and its effect on tourism maybe? Sounded like it was right up your alley. She complimented your case studies in our book and thinks you show promise.”

Patty licked her lips and fiddled with her bag strap. “But don’t you gotta have qualifications to look legit for that kinda stuff?”

Erin shrugged a shoulder. “If you want, we can look into finding some funding to help you finish your degree.”

Patty would be lying if she didn’t acknowledge that the opportunity was an enticing one. How many times had she come so close to going back to school only to have something more urgent come up?

Erin continued, “There are grants I can help you apply for and--” Patty threw her arm around Erin and pulled her into a hug, causing Erin to let out a small “ommpf”.

Patty loosened her grip. “Sorry.”

Erin shook her head. “You just surprised me. How bout we get in there with those maps and we’ll talk options later?”

Patty nodded and dropped her arm. “Sounds good.”

When they entered, Abby stood in front of her white board, refiguring some calculations, while Kevin attempted a handstand behind his desk. Holtz rushed to greet them and lowered her glasses as she eyed their bags.

“What news do you bring us from the ancient texts?”

Patty shook her head. “We gotta put it all down first, Holtzy.”

Holtz pouted in response.

Patty sat down their bags and rummaged through one before she pulled out a can of pringles. “I brought you a snack while you wait.”

Holtz snatched the can and popped the top. “You are a goddess. Have I told you that yet?”

Patty rolled her eyes. “You love anyone who brings you food.”

Holtzmann winked. “But you know I got a special place for you, Patty.”

“Mmhm.” Patty pulled out the rest of their books and started to arrange them on the table.

Abby turned at the sound. “Good, you’re back. I think I’ve figured out where one of the ghosts is most likely to show up but I need to see what the section of the city looked like in 1912.”

Patty pulled one of the books from her pile and opened it to one of her bookmarked pages. “This should help. The activity in that building is crazy. It was rebuilt four times. First it was a slaughterhouse, then a ice cream parlour, a diner, and now a weird coffee shop and studio space.”

Holtz chopped down on a chip. “Meat-flavored ice cream. That’s an idea.”

Patty cringed at the suggestion as she opened a couple other books to cross reference. While Abby reviewed them, she thought about Erin’s offer. It would be cool to be a student again and maybe this time she could actually go a little further once she finished.

* * *

Patty removed her hat as she made her way toward the firehouse. Sometimes she missed her Sundays before she became a ghostbuster. She used to settle into her couch with a late lunch and a documentary, adding to her “to be read” list as the credits rolled.

Now, she was lucky if she ever saw her apartment before midnight. Something about Sundays attracted more hauntings than usual.

When she entered, Holtzmann handed her a cheese danish and muttered, “You’ll need this,” as she rushed around the bottom floor. Abby and Erin were moving about in similar states.

“Thanks, baby,” she called after Holtzmann as she stuffed the pastry in her mouth and ran to her locker to change quickly. At this point, she should probably just show up to church in her uniform. She chuckled at the thought. _Yeah, Auntie would be all about that_. ‘I’m praying for you, baby. Messing with spirits isn’t an easy job,’ she’d told Patty just that morning.

_No shit_ , thought Patty as she buttoned her coveralls.

Holtzmann was waiting for her when she ran back to the entrance of the garage. She handed Patty her pack. “Locked and loaded.”

Patty smiled and followed her out. She missed her Sundays sometimes but she wouldn’t deny that this was infinitely better.

* * *

Erin and Abby left on a Thursday for their conference and thankfully there was nothing pressing that day so Patty could take her time settling and unpacking her overnight bag in the sleeping quarters.

She’d slept here a few times but never for a whole week. It felt a little like her summers as a kid at camp except the number of other campers was significantly smaller.

She took a look around and saw that Erin and Abby tidied up their bunks before they left. It was no secret that Holtz slept here more often than not and there were pillows and blankets askew on her bottom bunk opposite Patty.

Patty pulled out her butterfly quilt and pink pillow. She gave her sheets a whiff to see if she’d been right in assuming she might need new ones. As she remade the bed, the sound of approaching footsteps caused her to look up.

“Guess it’s just you and me, kid.” Holtz leaned against the doorframe with a tool that she rotated between her fingers.

“It is. I brought sandwiches for dinner and if you’re really good, I might bake some cookies.”

Holtz dropped her tool and placed her hand over her heart. “I’ve found her. The perfect woman.”

Patty laughed and shook her head. “And don’t you forget it.”

Holtzmann waggled her eyebrows. “How could I ever?” She gestured toward the small T.V. in the corner. “I made sure it’s ready for all your streaming needs. Shout when it’s chow time.”

She picked up her tool and headed back toward her lab. Patty smiled. She was definitely making those cookies.

* * *

Patty set a timer and settled onto her couch. The sound of rain outside started to intensify, which made her glad she’d thought to already pick up dinner on her way over. She opened her course catalogue and sighed.

She knew she could just look everything up online but the physical copy held a sense of grounding she hadn’t expected. It was most likely due to the fact that it was what she used the first time around. It helped ease a few of the fears in heading back to school after being away for so many years.

Erin had pulled a few strings in getting Patty access to grant applications and Patty’s old transcripts and entrance application were so impressive that she’d been admitted for the spring semester.

Patty could probably wait a while before she chose classes but the urge to get ahead and the excitement had gotten the better of her. Thunder clapped somewhere in the distance and the crescendo of the rain indicated it was near a downpour by now. She thought for a minute about where all the flashlights were located when a rustling near her door caused her to look up.

Holtz stood in her soldering helmet with the lid flipped up. She must have forgotten to drop it in her hurry. Her eyes were frantic and she jumped again at the second clap of thunder.

“You okay, baby?”

Holtz licked her lips and pulled her shoulders up to shrug but it fell flat. Patty pulled her feet to the floor and made room for her to sit. She patted the space next to her.

“Ditch your helmet, and help me pick some courses.”

Holtzmann dropped the helmet and hopped onto the couch. She placed her chin on Patty’s shoulder and pointed toward a course description. “Not that one; I know that douche, he’s ridiculous.”

Patty looked at the course title. “I doubt I’ll be takin’ Quantum Mechanics, Holtzy. I’m goin’ for a history degree.”

Holtz leaned the top of her head against Patty’s for a moment. “You could do anything, Pats.”

Patty felt heat rise in her cheeks at the compliment. “Thanks, baby.”

Holtzmann moved her head back to its original position and pointed out a few more courses. Her body relaxed against Patty’s and Patty tried hard to focus on something other than how good it felt.

The timer went off a little while later and they headed toward the kitchen.

* * *

Patty donned the apron Erin embroidered for her and set about making some cookies. Holtz asked for pumpkin shapes but Patty insisted it was still too early in the year, promising she could lick the bowl instead.

Holtzmann alternated between dancing around the kitchen and sitting on the counter watching Patty. When Patty handed her a cookie from the first batch, she sighed. “Perfection.” She winked at Patty.

Patty felt that familiar flutter start in her stomach. “Thanks, baby.” Patty couldn’t calm those pesky butterflies no many how many times she tried.

Holtz hopped off the counter and grabbed a few more cookies. “Gotta get back.”

The storm outside had cleared and Patty knew Holtz would want to return to whatever the storm interrupted.

“O.K.”

Patty sighed when she left.  Holtzmann was ridiculous, confusing, and often an enigma but Patty couldn’t help but be captivated by her.

She knew that what most people found off-putting in Holtzmann was something she greatly admired. As odd as Holtz could be, one could count on her to always be exactly who she was. A trait she shared with Abby, and Patty had no doubt that it was what helped them click. Unlike Abby, where Patty felt nothing but friendship, Holtz was another matter.

Patty couldn’t deny that she’d managed to catch some feelings and she wasn’t at all sure what to do about them.

* * *

Other than a minor bust over the weekend, Patty and Holtz’s week on call was pretty quiet.

Patty was grateful for the extra time to put in a good deal of research and outline her coming semester. Holtz remained buried in her lab and if it weren’t for Patty seeking her out for meals, she might have forgotten Holtz was there at all.

When the words in front of her started to blur despite her addition of reading glasses, Patty set her book on the small table near her bunk and grabbed the T.V. remote. She flipped through a few T.V. show options before she settled on _The West Wing_. She set her back against a pillow and sighed.

Holtzmann wandered in a while later, her eyes red and her overalls sporting a new tear.

“Hey,” greeted Patty.

Holtz turned to her, her gaze unfocused and cleared her throat. “Hi.”

Patty tilted her head. “Why don’t you clean up and join me?”

Holtz nodded slowly but didn’t move. Patty shuffled out of her bunk and found a pair of clean shorts and a t-shirt.

She handed them to Holtzmann. “Take a shower, get dressed, and come back.”

That seemed to break Holtz out of her daze and she nodded and left.

Patty expected her to chill on the floor when she came back as she usually did scribbling in her notebook. When she returned though in the shorts and her sports bra, she jumped over Patty into the space between Patty and the wall. Patty swallowed a gasp at the proximity.

Holtz pointed toward the screen at C.J. “She’s a tall drink of water.”

Patty chuckled. “Hmm.”

Holtzmann turned and smiled at her. “She’s got it all, brains, sass, and have you seen those legs?”

Patty nodded. “I have.”

Holtz nudged her shoulder with her own. “Come on, Pats, you need to admit, you’d tap it.”

Patty shook her head. “Nah, we’d be friends maybe.” She paused and pointed at the screen. “Now Kate Harper, that’s another story.”

Holtz gave her nod. “Like em a little shorter than you?”

Patty winked. “Sometimes.”

Holtz laid her head on Patty’s shoulder as they watched on. Patty’s heart started to pound a little faster as Holtz’s head made its way to her chest. Holtz started to tap the rhythm of the heartbeat against Patty’s arm.

Patty tried to stop herself from reading too much into it. After all, Holtz could be this close to Abby just as easily.

She almost came undone when Holtz settled her arm across Patty’s middle. Patty tried to focus hard on the plot and calm her heartbeat that obviously hadn’t escaped Holtz’s notice with its increase.

When Holtz’s breath started to slow, Patty couldn’t resist reaching out and traced the scars on Holtz’s arm. Holtzmann sighed in her sleep but didn’t otherwise stir.

Patty bit her lip and thought, _Yeah, these feelings are damn unfortunate_.  

* * *

She asked Abby to lunch a couple days after she and Erin returned.

“How have I never been here before?” asked Abby as they were seated.

Patty picked up her menu. “Girl, I don’t know. I figured it would be your kinda thing.”

Patty made her choice in restaurant strategically. Damned if she wasn’t going to treat this poor woman to a decent soup.

“You figured correctly, my friend.” Abby let out a little gasp as she opened her menu.

Patty gave herself a mental high five. “How was your trip?”

Abby looked up from her menu and cocked her head to the side. “We already told you.”

“Yeah but-” Patty was interrupted by the waiter. After they were done with their orders, she clarified, “you told me all the science stuff but what about the rest of it?”

Abby narrowed her eyebrows. “What else is there?”

Patty let out a heavy sigh. No wonder Erin came back looking a little deflated. “Didn’t y’all stay in some fancy hotel? Erin was ravin’ about  trying some Italian place for dinner, too.”

Abby adjusted her glasses. “You know, I thought it was weird. The hotel was nice but there was a mix-up and we only had one room, so-”

“Tell me you didn’t try and get another room.” Patty bowed her head slightly and already knew the answer.

“Well, yeah, luckily it was adjoining.” Abby shrugged.

Patty cursed herself for forgetting exactly who Abby was. If she couldn’t read the oldest tricks in the book, how on Earth would she help Patty?

Patty pressed her index and thumb to her lips and shook her head. “Abby, Erin did that on purpose.”

Abby quirked an eyebrow. “What?”

“Come on Abby, she set it up so you’d share a room. She was making a gesture.” Patty sighed and dropped her hand on the table.

Abby thought for a moment then ducked her head. “Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’ is right.”

Abby shook her head. “I didn’t think she’d want to…” Abby stared at her napkin. “Oh.”

“Do you want that again? With her?”

Abby smiled wistfully. “I want to try, but I was waiting for her to say something.”

“I think she did. You just missed it.”

Abby shook her head. “It wouldn’t be the first time.” At Patty’s curious look, Abby explained, “In college, she planned this whole candlelit dinner in our apartment.”

Patty tilted her head in consideration. “Well, that’s hard to miss.”

Abby laughed. “Not if you’re me. I was so out of it from an exam, I walked in, turned on all the lights and completely missed the rose petals lining the hallway. I mean, how was I supposed to know? It was the premiere of the second season of the X-files.”

Patty raised an eyebrow. “That’s probably why she chose it.”

Abby shrugged her shoulder. “Yeah, I figured that out later when I found her crying in the kitchen.”

“Poor thing.”

“We figured it out. We’ll do it again.” She paused for a minute. “That explains why she didn’t want to go to dinner with any of the other attendees. Shit, I yelled at her for not networking with the only legitimate researchers there.”

“God, you didn’t.”

“I did.”

The waiter arrived with their orders and they ate in silence for a while.

Abby placed her spoon down. “So what was so secret we had to go out alone?”

“You mean other than you missing Erin’s grand romantic gesture?”

Abby rolled her eyes. “I might miss a lot of things Patty, but I know when you’re stalling.”

Patty smiled. Abby was right and it spoke to how close they’d come. “True that.” She took a sip of her water and started to fidget with her drink napkin. “It’s about Holtzy.”

“Oh God, what did she blow up?”

Patty chuckled. “Not that. Unless she’s blowing up something right now.”

Abby nodded. “So?”

“I think I’m _interested_ in her.”

“Oh.”

Patty pointed at her. “I’m really gonna need you to use more syllables. Anyway, I don’t know if there’s any chance it might be mutual.”

“Hmm,” muttered Abby as she picked up her spoon and took another bite of soup.

Patty rolled her eyes. “Has she talked to you?”

“In general, yes. About relationships? Not in like three years, I think.”

Patty sighed. “So you got no idea?”

Abby took another bite. “Not a clue.”

Patty leaned her forehead into her palm. “What am I gonna do?”

Abby shrugged. “Beats me. Can I have the rest of your soup?”

Patty slid her bowl over and signaled for the check.  

* * *

Patty pulled her jacket tighter as a breeze blew over the roof. She let out a deep breath as she leaned back on the lawn chair and let Stevie's voice center her. She felt both too old to be stuck like this and not at all surprised. This was her pattern after all. _Fall for the girl, act awkward, get horrible advice, and pine_.

"Damn," she muttered as she closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Pat-tay," came a sing song voice from the top of the stairs.

"Shit," she whispered though she was partly relieved. She should probably just get it all out in the open. Maybe then she could move past it.

Holtz tilted her head as her eyes found Patty. She opened her mouth to speak but Patty threw up her hand to stop her. "Hold up, I gotta tell you some things,” she sighed as she tried to think of how to continue. “Man, I don't even know where to start."

Holtzmann shrugged and sat down near Patty’s chair. "Beginning usually helps but I'm equal opportunity here so middle or end is good, too." Holtz pulled her knees up and rested her chin on them.

Patty laughed though it didn't do much to dispel the tension in her chest. "I'm not really sure when this happened. I mean, could have been the fundraiser. I tried my best to ignore it, I honestly did. We all got such a good thing going here and damn if I had to go and catch some feelings."

Holtz quirked an eyebrow and pursed her lips. "What did you do, go fishing for them?"

Patty rolled her eyes. "No, I didn't but they showed up anyway. Damn this is not goin' well." Patty sat up and clasped her hands in her lap. "What I'm trying to say, baby, is I _like_ you."

Holtz nodded. "Yeah, I thought-"

Patty shook her head. "No like in the way Erin likes Abby. I want to be with you in a relationship kinda thing."

Holtzmann’s eyes widened a bit. "Oh."

Patty shrugged. "Yeah, but it's cool. I just thought you'd want to know and it wouldn't be fair to-"

Holtz repositioned herself and kneeled. She reached for Patty’s hand and squeezed. "Since the beginning."

Patty quirked an eyebrow. "Come again?"

Holtzmann raised her eyebrows as if it were obvious. "That's how long it's been a thing for me."

"Oh," breathed Patty as she looked a little dazed.

"Scoot." Holtz dropped her hand and Patty moved back to make room.

She settled herself between Patty's legs and leaned her back against Patty’s front. She took Patty’s hand in hers again and looked out at the city lights. "Stevie Nicks? Solid choice, Pats."

* * *

Not much changed in the next few couple of weeks and Party wondered if that night had been some kind of fever dream. She and Holtzmann were on call again this week and she'd settled into her bunk, thinking of ways to broach the subject when Holtzmann sauntered in.

"Hey, gorgeous." Her smile was wide and her eyes were playful.

Patty nodded in her direction. "Hey baby, you fix that old generator?"

"Yep," she popped her lip on the p.

"Good." She noticed Holtz start to rock on her heels a bit.

"You need something?"

Holtz nodded and jumped onto Patty’s bunk. She settled her legs on each side of Patty's lap and leaned back on her haunches. She ran her hands up and down Patty’s arms and met her eyes. "You, this."

Patty tilted her head. "Me, this, what?"

Holtz leaned forward and hovered above Patty’s mouth. "What I need."

She leaned forward and pressed her lips against Patty’s. Patty was a little thrown off by her fervor. It shouldn't be a surprise though that in this, Holtz would be just as enthusiastic as anything else. She brought one hand behind Patty’s neck as Patty settled her hands on Holtzmann's waist. She squeezed her legs at the contact and Patty let out a soft moan.  

Holtzmann's lips were surprisingly soft and Patty thought she noted a taste of Chapstick. Had she been preparing for this?

Holtz’s strokes on Patty’s arm paused at the hem of Patty’s shirt and she moved them in sync to inch up Patty's pajama top.

Patty needed a minute. She broke away and whispered, "Wait."

Holtz dropped her hands as her eyes roamed over Patty's body. "Shit, did I hurt you? Too fast? Fuck, I sometimes do this too fast."

Patty smiled at her and placed a hand on her cheek. "Just need a second to catch my breath, baby. This is good. More than good. I was starting to think I was dreaming the other night."

Holtz grinned and pinched Patty’s arm lightly. "See? All real."

Patty nodded. "Yeah."

Holtz waited a moment and bounced a little in Patty’s lap. Patty chuckled and Holtz nodded toward her. "Can I go again?"

Patty nodded and they met in the middle this time.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] In The Crystalline Knowledge of You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9124801) by [RsCreighton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RsCreighton/pseuds/RsCreighton), [SomethingIncorporeal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomethingIncorporeal/pseuds/SomethingIncorporeal)




End file.
